Howrse - Howrse

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SOME WAYS TO MAINTAIN A HEALTHY LEVEL OF INSANITY

1.At lunch time, sit in your parked car with sunglasses on and point a hair dryer at passing cars. see if they slow down
2.Page yourself over the intercom. don't disguise don't voice
3.Every time someone asks you two do something, ask if they want fries with that
4. Put your garbage can on your desk and label it "in"
5.Finish all your sentences with "in accordance with the prophecy."
6.Order a diet water whenever your go out to eat--with a serious face
7.Specify that your drive-through order is "to go."
8.As often as possible, skip rather than walk
9. Don't use any punctuation
10.Sing along at the opera
11.Go to a poetry recital and ask why the poems don't rhyme
12. Put mosquito netting around your work area and play tropical sounds all day
13. Five days in advance, tell your friends you cant attend their party because your not in the mood
14.Have your friends address you by your wrestling name, Rock Bottom
15.When the money comes out of the ATM, scream "I won! I won!"
16.When leaving the zoo, start running towards the parking lot, yelling "run for your lives, they're loose!!"

(15 ways to get kicked out of Walmart
1 - Wander through the store dressed in all black holding a fake walkie-talkie humming the Mission Impossible theme. When someone asks you what you're doing, scream "LOOK OUT!!" and push them behind a shelf.
2 - Pass out bananas to random people and snicker loudly after they take
3 - Buy 350 packets of tuna and scream "THIS CAN'T BE RIGHT!! YOU HAVE TO PUT SOME BACK!!" once the cashier tells you the price
4- Walk around looking confused in the CD section and ask someone where you can find some "musical devices"
5 - When the announcer-thing comes on, throw yourself on the floor and scream "THE VOICES!!THEY'RE BACK!!"
6 - Start a fish stick fight
7 - Walk up to random people and give them giant bear hugs. Then scream "I MISSED YA, MAN!!"
8 - (this requires a friend) Jump in a cart and have a friend push you around screaming "The British are coming!!"
9 - Walk up to an employee and murmur "code red in aisle 3" and see what they do
10 - Start laughing hysterically and rolling on the floor
11 - Attempt to fly off a high shelf
12 - Throw confetti on random people walking into the store
13 - Whisper "I know your "little secret"' to people in the checkout line
14 - Stand inside the freezer at the frozen food section
15 - Pass this on to make some one smile:)

1. A man went on vacation and asks his mom to take care of his cat. He then asks a neighbor to keep an eye on his mom and his cat. Well, the man goes on vacation and he calls the neighbor to ask how his mom and cat are doing and the neighbor says,"Your cat is dead." Well the man gets mad at the neighbor for telling him so bluntly and says, "Geez, you could have told me a little more gently, first said your cats on the roof and he fell down. Then the next day say the cat was in the hospital and something like that, nice gentle. By the way, how's my mom doing?" The neighbor says, "Well, she's up on the roof..."

2. A minister and a taxi driver are waiting in the line of judgement one day. St. Peter asks the taxi driver his name and when the taxi diver replies St. Peter smiles, gives him a silken robe and golden staff and tells him to enter the kingdom of heaven. When it's the priest's turn to be judged St. Peter asks for his name and when the priest replies St. Peter just hands him a cotton robe and wooden staff and bade him enter the kingdom of heaven. The minister asks why he, a minister, gets a cotton robe and wooden staff when a taxi driver gets a silken robe and golden staff and St. Peter answers, "We base things on results up here. while you prayed people slept, while he drove people prayed."

3. This guy goes to a barber shop and is all excited. Says he's going to Rome on the Alitalia airline and is staying at the Rome Hilton and is going to see the Pope. His barber says, "The Alitalia is a terrible airline, the Rome Hilton is a bad hotel, and you'll never see the Pope, you'll just wait in line." Well the guy goes to Rome and comes back and tells the barber that the airline was great, the hotel was great, and he got to see the Pope. The barber asks, "Wha did the pope say to you?" And the guy replies, "Where did you get that crummy haircut?"

4. Repost to make someone laugh (These jokes are from A Pretty Good Joke Book)

Now this is freaky...DO NOT CHEAT!! (You will kick yourself later) I was a little skeptical trying this, but if you follow the instructions to the end you'll be surprised!!!! (It is so cool)All of my answers were accurate. Take 3 minutes and try this...it will freak you out! BUT NO CHEATING! This game has a funny/spooky outcome. Don't read ahead...just do it in order! It takes about three minutes...it's worth a try First..get a pen and paper. When you actually choose names, make sure it's people you actually know and go with your first instinct. Scroll down one line at a time...and don't read ahead or you'll ruin it!

3. Beside the 3 and 7, write down the names of boys if your a girl and the opposite if your a boy.

4. Write anyone's name (like friends or family....) in the 4th, 5th and 6th spots.

5. Write down four song titles in 8,9,10, and 11. GO WITH YOUR INSTINCT PEOPLE!!!!

10. And 11 is the song telling you how you feel about life NOW...repost if this stunned you.