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How Could You?When
I was a puppy, I entertained you with my antics and made you laugh. You
called me your child, and despite a number of chewed shoes and a couple
of murdered throw pillows, I became your best friend. Whenever I was
"bad," you'd shake your finger at me and ask, "How could you?" -- but
then you'd relent and roll me over for a belly rub.My
housebreaking took a little longer than expected, because you were
terribly busy, but we worked on that together. I remember those nights
of nuzzling you in bed and listening to your confidences and secret
dreams, and I believed that life could not be any more perfect.We
went for long walks and runs in the park, car rides, stops for ice
cream (I only got the cone because "ice cream is bad for dogs" you
said), and I took long naps in the sun waiting for you to come home at
the end of the day.Gradually, you
began spending more time at work and on your career, and more time
searching for a human mate. I waited for you patiently, comforted you
through heartbreaks and disappointments, never chided you about bad
decisions, and romped with glee at your homecomings, and when you fell
in love. She, now your wife, is
not a "dog person" -- still I welcomed her into our home, tried to show
her affection, and obeyed her. I was happy because you were happy.Then
the human babies came along and I shared your excitement. I was
fascinated by their pinkness, how they smelled, and I wanted to mother
them, too. Only she and you worried that I might hurt them, and I spent
most of my time banished to another room, or to a dog crate. Oh,
how I wanted to love them, but I became a "prisoner of love." As they
began to grow, I became their friend. They clung to my fur and pulled
themselves up on wobbly legs, poked fingers in my eyes, investigated my
ears, and gave me kisses on my nose. I loved everything about them and
their touch -- because your touch was now so infrequent -- and I
would've defended them with my life if need be. I would sneak into their
beds and listen to their worries and secret dreams, and together we
waited for the sound of your car in the driveway. There had been a time,
when others asked you if you had a dog, that you produced a photo of me
from your wallet and told them stories about me. These
past few years, you just answered "yes" and changed the subject. I had
gone from being "your dog" to "just a dog," and you resented every
expenditure on my behalf. Now, you have a new career opportunity in
another city, and you and they will be moving to an apartment that does
not allow pets. You've made the right decision for your "family," but
there was a time when I was your only family I
was excited about the car ride until we arrived at the animal shelter.
It smelled of dogs and cats, of fear, of hopelessness. You filled out
the paperwork and said, "I know you will find a good home for her." They
shrugged and gave you a pained look. They understand the realities
facing a middle-aged dog, even one with "papers." You had to pry your
son's fingers loose from my collar, as he screamed “No, Daddy Please
don't let them take my dog!" And I worried for him, and what lessons you
had just taught him about friendship and loyalty, about love and
responsibility, and about respect for all life. You
gave me a good-bye pat on the head, avoided my eyes, and politely
refused to take my collar and leash with you. You had a deadline to meet
and now I have one, too. After you left, the two nice ladies said you
probably knew about your upcoming move months ago and made no attempt to
find me another good home. They shook their heads and asked, "How could
you?" They are as attentive to
us here in the shelter as their busy schedules allow. They feed us, of
course, but I lost my appetite days ago. At first, whenever anyone
passed my pen, I rushed to the front, hoping it was you that you had
changed your mind -- that this was all a bad dream... or I hoped it
would at least be someone who cared, anyone who might save me. When
I realized I could not compete with the frolicking for attention of
happy puppies, oblivious to their own fate, I retreated to a far corner
and waited. I heard her footsteps as she came for me at the end of the
day, and I padded along the aisle after her to a separate room. A
blissfully quiet room. She placed me on the table and rubbed my ears,
and told me not to worry. My heart pounded in anticipation of what was
to come, but there was also a sense of relief. The prisoner of love had
run out of days. As is my nature, I was more concerned about her. The
burden which she bears weighs heavily on her, and I know that, the same
way I knew your every mood. She gently placed a tourniquet around my
foreleg as a tear ran down her cheek. I licked her hand in the same way I
used to comfort you so many years ago. She expertly slid the hypodermic
needle into my vein. As I felt the sting and the cool liquid coursing
through my body, I lay down sleepily, looked into her kind eyes and
murmured, "How could you?" Perhaps because she understood my dog speak,
she said, "I'm so sorry." She
hugged me, and hurriedly explained it was her job to make sure I went to
a better place, where I wouldn't be ignored or abused or abandoned, or
have to fend for myself -- a place of love and light so very different
from this earthly place. And with my last bit of energy, I tried to
convey to her with a thump of my tail that my "How could you?" was not
directed at her.
It was directed
at you, My Beloved Master, I was thinking of you. I will think of you
and wait for you forever. May everyone in your life continue to show you
so much loyalty.
Put this on your page if this story brought tears to your eyes as it did mine..so upset about what happened to that dog!