I'm looking for a Chronos Timer!


 Ways to annoy people in an elevator

1) Announce in a demonic voice: “I must find a more suitable host body.”

2) Ask, “did you hear that cable snapping sound?”

3) Drop a pen and wait until someone reaches to help pick it up, then scream, “That’s mine!”

4) Hold the elevator door open and say you’re waiting for your friend. After a while, let the doors close and say, “Hi John, how’s your day been?”

5) Hum the theme to Jeopardy.

6) Leave a box in a corner, and when someone gets on, ask if they hear something ticking.

7) Make explosion noises when anyone presses a button.

8) Say, while holding a paper with OUT OF ORDER written on it, “I wonder why this was glued on the door when I came in.”

9) Scribble furiously on a notepad while looking at each passenger. When they try to look, hide the pad.

10) Stare at another passenger for a while, then scream “You’re one of THEM!” and cower to the far corner of the elevator.

11) When the elevator doors close, bang on them, screaming,"let me out!"

12) When there’s only one other person on the elevator, tap them on the shoulder and pretend it wasn’t you.



 

SOME WAYS 2 MAINTAIN A HEALTHY LEVEL OF INSANITY

1. at lunch time, sit in ur parked car with sunglasses on and point a hair dryer at passing cars. see if they slow down

2. page urself over the intercom. dont disguise ur voice

3. everytime someone asks you 2 do something, ask if they want fries with that

4. put ur garbage can on ur desk and label it "in"



5. Finish all ur sentences with "in accordance with the prophecy."
 6. Order a diet water whenever u go out 2 eat--with a serious face

7. specify that ur drive-through order is "to go."



8. As often as possible, skip rather than walk



9.  don t use any punctuation
10. sing along at the opera



11. go to a poetry recital and ask why the poems dont rhyme
 12. put mosquito netting around ur work area and play tropical sounds all day



13. five days in advance, tell ur friends u cant attend their party cuz ur not in the mood

14. Have ur friends address u by ur wrestling name, Rock Bottom



15. when the money comes out of the ATM, scream "i won! i won!"



16. when leaving the zoo, start running towards the parking lot, yelling "run 4 your lives, they're loose!!"

 

 

25iniud.jpg494679rehg7x5xh4.jpg47337x4osj7w0ji.gif2aj7yw2.gif249475-109393033112382.gif

 

 

 

sarcasm_postcard-p239264493245390015qibm_400.jpg